{"id":969,"date":"2026-03-06T09:54:34","date_gmt":"2026-03-06T09:54:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/portfolio.zenkoders.com\/ai-powered\/?p=969"},"modified":"2026-04-08T22:52:46","modified_gmt":"2026-04-08T22:52:46","slug":"the-real-conversation-about-domestic-violence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/portfolio.zenkoders.com\/ai-powered\/the-real-conversation-about-domestic-violence\/","title":{"rendered":"The Real Conversation About Domestic Violence"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everyone knew when Tanya was in my office getting a pap smear or having a gynecological problem. Her scented perfume of a Hawaiian vacation was noticed by everyone, including those patients in my waiting room. She was always coming from a Soul Cycle workout dressed in the perfect workout ensemble and pristine Nike shoes that always looked brand new.\u00a0Even though she was 43y by birth, she really didn’t look a day over 30y. It might have helped that she has been getting monthly Botox and Juvederm injections. Tanya had a gentle smile and warm hug every time I saw her. During this visit, she came in complaining of painful sex with her husband of 4 years. We went through the typical questions. “It is positional pain? Are you wet enough? Are you having regular weekly sex? \u201cAre you having any vaginal discharge or odor?\u201d The usually common reasons women have pain with sex. “My pain with sex is not related to any of those issues” she said. \u00a0I asked her, \u201cAre you having orgasms and she said no, she rarely does with her husband. She went on to blame herself. After her 3rd visit with me for the same problem, I focused more on her relationship with her husband. As big crocodile tears filled her eyes she admitted he wasn’t the man she married. He had been verbally abusive to her for a long time. Tanya said, \u201cI really thought it would get better, but it hasn’t, in fact it’s gotten worse. As I listened to her I finally asked, “Has he ever hit you?” She paused for what seemed like hours. She bravely nodded her head and from there the real conversation started…<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I have to admit as a Gynecologist I wasn\u2019t aware this month had even greater significance for women. October is also Domestic violence month.<\/span><\/p>\n

Domestic violence is defined as the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and\/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse. There are many ways an abuser can try and take control of a person\u2019s life.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The one constant aspect of domestic violence is one partner\u2019s continual efforts to maintain power and control over the other. There is no \u201ctypical\u201d abuser. There are no universal characteristics about a person to alert you in knowing who is more likely to be \u201cthat\u201d person.<\/span><\/p>\n

Domestic violence doesn\u2019t discriminate as it affects those regardless of age, background, economic or educational status, sexual orientation, race, religion or nationality.<\/span><\/p>\n

It may be interesting to know that nearly 3 in 10 women and 1 in 10 men in the US have experienced rape, physical violence or stalking by a current or former sexual partner.<\/span><\/p>\n

The truth is that domestic violence is difficult to detect in the early stages of a relationship. It may be subtle in the beginning, but over time the signs become clearer. Emotional and psychological abuse can ultimately lead to physical abuse. Abusers are often the picture-perfect partners and yet over time, aggressive and controlling behaviors become more evident. The abuser is classically the one who wants to be in control — the constant source of power in the relationship. One of the ridiculous myths of domestic violence is defining the person being victimized as someone with low self-esteem or lacking self-confidence.<\/span> Victims of domestic violence DO NOT ask for it or bring violence upon themselves.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Red flags of abusive behaviors include: \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n